We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude i'm inner monologue high
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
