just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
