they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
