you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
