i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
