I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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