she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
