dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
