so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
