I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
