you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
