lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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