Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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