I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
