I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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