i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
