talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
