ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
