Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
