I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
