Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
