found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You've changed since you got that strap on
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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