People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
