i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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