i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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