Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
