Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
