were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
