Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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