So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
