woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
