i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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