Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
