Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
