So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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