I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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