I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
