I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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