Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
