So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She is in my trunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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