Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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