I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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