puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
