I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
