"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
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