whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
