so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
