Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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