Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
