Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
