I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
