Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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